impossible requests…

A day of demanding editors, chapters 1 and 2 of new novel (Yes, oh YES!!! You MAY drink champagne to celebrate. It’s allowed…) and impossible requests:

Demanding editor writes email to say “Liz – where is copy??” to which I repy “Where is deadline?? I never got one.” It’s easier to write to deadline if you’re actually given one.
Piece for magazine will have to be written tomorrow. I’m outta time.

Then comes the impossible request: receive email from publicist to say that Grazia magazine would like to feature me and my daugher in a piece they’re running. Could they photograph us together.
Yes. When?
Hmmmm. This is Monday. You mean next Monday?
No, this Monday.
So, that’d be today then. Yes?
Yes. Can you do?
Well, it’s 3pm, and I live almost a hundred miles from London. And my daughter is at school. I’m thinking… ‘tricky’. But I can do it. Of course. (No is not a word I use often enough when asked to do things. Am trying to improve on this…)

I suddenly realise that Grazia already have fabulous pics of me and said daughter, and suggest they might use those.
However, as this would be extremely sensible, I’m sure it won’t happen. Life doesn’t work that way.

I’ll let you know ; -)

UPDATE: Ha! It gets better: 4.30-pm. Getting a little stressed now. Make 5 calls to publicity department, and get 5 voice mails. Am leaving a message when I get a call from my publicist. She hasn’t heard back from Grazia, but they’d like me evening or early morning. I say could she call me the second she hears, as tomorrow morning is quite close now.
Yes. You said they’d like me there today. So I’m guessing if not today, then tomorrow morning.
Oh no! It’s not today. It’s next Monday. Or maybe it’s Tuesday hold on….here’s the email……ah yes. Next Tuesday.

And the unnecessry panic is over. It’s a depressing thought that all over the world, communication (or rather miscommunication) just like this is going on right this very minute.
 Don’t you just love it when people actually read their emails….?! ; -)


2 thoughts on “impossible requests…

  1. Oliver

    Well said, stressy but so true. Not just in publishing either: at my work (aside from the constant emails and phone calls) comes the ever rising tide of deadlines. Frankie used to say “Relax don’t do it” – but they were pop stars, so what did they know?


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