Threesomes for twosomes

Newspaper review on BBC London went excellently this morning. Which is to say I don’t think I screwed it up too much – even though I sounded groggy and looked like I’d done my make-up at 5.30am in the toilet of a moving train.
Probably because that’s exactly what I did.

Aaaaanyway, here’s a fabulous little nonsense of a story to cheer even the uncheeriest of ye all on this grey September day.
No, it’s not “Grandmother goes to bed with migraine….and wakes up with a French accent”, although this is quite spectacularly silly too and worthy of a chortle.

Today’s other nonsense of a story is this:

“Shoppers get a sexual thrill out of seeing special offers in supermarkets.”

No, really. ‘Researchers’ said so.
In every Tesco Metro, Sainsbury’s and Morrisons in the land, pink-faced shoppers are rubbing themselves silly in the fruit and veg area, and working up a serious glow in the cereals aisle. Reduced price Shreddies? Ooohhh yes, yes, YES!

And let’s not even GO into what happens beside the ‘discounts’ shelf. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Now, I’m not sure about you but I’ve not had an orgasm walking past a Buy-One-Get-One-Free yet, although BOGOF is certainly what I’d say to any man who offered me a trip to Tesco’s instead of an hour in bed. Nor do I feel any kind of sexual je ne sais quoi passing a three-for-two (or should that be threesome for twosome?) shampoo offer.

But this article did make me wonder one thing: if it might finally yield the answer as to why so many women don’t want sex quite as often as their men. (I don’t need researchers to tell me this incidentally. I just need ten minutes over a glass of wine with any of my friends.) As most women are the ones who have the joy of doing the daily shopping, perhaps they’ve had so much titillation and sexual fun buying discounted pasta that they don’t need any more at home thanks very much, and they’d rather get some kip.

It’s just a theory…; -)
Right, I’m off to the Co-op to check out the special offers in the bakery. Ooooh, yeah baby, special offers….

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2 thoughts on “Threesomes for twosomes

  1. Josephine Tale Peddler

    Liz, I do think you’re being a tad harsh. Those gawky, pimply check out boys do it for me. NOT. Oh dear, I cannot think of a less erotic place than our local supermarket. Perhaps some French film-maker might be able to spice it up in some arthouse film. Call me a stodgy but it never fails to cause a big drop in my libido as I hunt for my parsnips. xx

    Reply

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