A subject that crops up from time to time in the news, because it makes us all go “WHAT?? No! Never!” (which newsy people like us to do) is children’s birthday parties .
Oh yes, THAT old chestnut. I told you it crops up a lot.
This week I took part in a fun discussion about this sweet, sticky, apparently bank-breaking subject on the lovely and ever-suportive BBC Radio London.
Here’s the clip: I come in at 48 minutes and it’s a very jolly one, so I think you’ll enjoy it.
In my personal opinion – and you may choose to ignore or disagree with it, of course – anyone who spends £500 on a child’s birthday party is completely barking bonkers. And for them, I have three words: ‘rod’ and ‘own back’. (You need to insert the words ‘for your’ in here too, otherwise is it sounds like Rod is getting his own back. English is a bugger like that.)
But come on. Seriously. £500?? For a kid’s party?? With the bar raised that high, what are you going to do for their 15th? Take them all to Antigua? Hire the Albert Hall, and get them all there in a stretch limo, with Rhianna booked for the evening? (Actually, a depressing number of parents do the stretch limo thing for their kids. I feel a bit ill just thinking about it.)
Lovely, clever, good parenty people, this has gone too far. There’s keeping up with the Jones’ and there being a monumental idiot, and setting your kids a truly hideous example to boot.
If they think that spending this amount of money on a party is OK they’ll have absolutely no idea how to budget, and will be coming home to beg for money the second they’re out of the door. They’ll also have no idea what silly, simple, cheap fun is. And I like silly, simple, cheap fun.
Give me a bottle of Blue Nun and I’ll show you…
Seriously though, there’s nowt wrong with getting a few friends round, eating jelly with chopsticks, consuming so much crap in one day that 50% of the guests vomit before the birthday cake arrives, and sending ’em all off home with a slice of cake wrapped in a soggy napkin, and a balloon.
All my birthday parties were like that when I was a kid, and I thought they kicked some serious birthday butt.
So I say it’s time to swim against the tide, wave goodbye to the £500 Jones’ and stop spending a month’s salary on goodie bags full of iPod Nanos. And if the kids kick up a stink it’s only because we’ve led them to expect so much.
Anyone for pass the parcel?
Oh well, Blue Nun it is then….cheers 🙂