OK, so you know that last blog I wrote, where I was all sceptical and ‘Pffff, not in MY house’ and ‘they rot children’s MINDS and turn the to MUSH!’ and ‘it’s the death of human interaction….we are DOOOOOOMED!’ about gaming consoles?
Well, 24 hours of suspicious eyeing, and a further 24 of having a go at Kinect Sports, Dance Central and playing with my new 2-dimensional African Lion cub, Louie, on Kinectimals later I would just like to say
HOW WRONG WAS I???!!
(Answer: very very very wrong. In case that wasn’t slightly obvious from the general tone….)
Here’s how wrong I was:
First of all, my children and I have played together more this weekend than in any weekend since….well, since the last time we played together this much. Which was a very Big Number ago. And yes, it really IS together, now that we’ve figured out how it all works.
Second of all, Kinect Sports is better at lard-busting than an hour in the gym – and it’s FUN, as opposed to puffing away in a room full of people you don’t know, trying not to look at the sweat pouring down their bum crack.
And third of all Louie, my African Lion cub, doesn’t shit on the carpet or bite people’s limbs off, which is massive bonus in my book where lions as pets are concerned.
Oh, and he sits in he back of my pink safari car (pink safari car! Hello?!) and, wait for this….if he’s happy he licks the screen.
LICKS THE SCREEN, I tell you! Can African Lions sitting in pink jeeps GET any cuter than that? I think not. Louie is the KING of African Lion cuteness.
So yes, in a somewhat abrupt U-turn that would make most politicians’ policy sticking power look like Super-Duper Glue stuck to a baby’s bath mat, I have decided that I love my Xbox Kinect.
I love it, and I want to kiss it.
OK, sometimes I do kiss it.
Just without tongues.
This change of heart is not unlike the time when you see a bloke across a bar and think ‘Oh, he is so definitely not for me. Ugh. Absolutely not. Ever.’
And then he comes over, and you’re still thinking ‘Forget it, mate. No chance here. Try that lady by the window with the big bazongas…’
And then you start talking, and whadayakow?! it turns out he’s actually one of the nicest people you’ve ever met, and really clever, and funny, not flatulent, and empathetic, and emotional, and gentlemanly without being vomit-making, doesn’t appear to be a complete bastard either (yet), and likes all the same music as you, and has nice elbows, and….well basically you’re smitten and six months later you marry him.
A bit like THAT.
All the stuff I said about children spending too much time on computers being bad for them holds. (Obviously.) As does all the stuff about teaching children to get on with other people and giving them ‘life experiences’ from a computer game being a load of wrickly old bollocks.
And as does the whole thing about marketing this thing as the best thing to happen to family life since the Royal Variety Show being too much for me, and it would be much better if they just said
‘Xbox Kinect 360 is shit loads of fun. Enjoy it! Just remember to switch it off after an hour or so, eh?’
But all of that aside, I am officially a convert, and unofficially slightly in love.
I am SUCH a tart.
But if they can win ME over, then they really have done a great job. Hats off, Microsoft 🙂
Now, where’s Louie…..?